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Husbands, Valentine's Day Approaching - Prepare Now!

By Dr. Don Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
As a counselor, I hear women complain every week that their husbands have lost that romantic touch.

Family Counseling Ministries -

These romantic expressions originally won her heart and affections, yet now he seems to have lost the touch. This lack of romantic expression hurts her, wounds her and causes her to yearn for that romance once again. Most men want to be romantic, but they need a little help. Each week we will try to help them out with a simple romantic idea. You can help with this project, (both men and women).

 Email your romantic ideas/stories/discoveries/tips to
I'll post the best/most creative/wildest ones here on a regular basis.

Here are the new ones for this week:  

 Valentines Day Preparation 101. O.K. Guys, Valentines Day is only three weeks away. Don’t blow it. Here are some ideas on how to give meaningful gifts. Read this and do it now!

Romantic Ways to Give a Gift
Presentation, like perception is everything. These are Romantic ways to give a gift. Some work best when used with the suggested "Things To Do". Like the to do list, you get huge brownie points with these presentation ideas. Pick one or two to try then go buy her a gift on-line and you're done. (Suggestions are updated and added often!)

·          Hide it unwrapped where she will find it.

·          Secretly give it to the waiter before dinner and have him bring it with dessert.

·          Give it to the front desk and have it delivered with room service.

·          Go by early and have it placed in the room before you arrive at the hotel or bed and breakfast.

·          Take it to the florist and have it delivered with the flowers you send.

·          Mail it to her from her admirer.

Here are some more suggestions for Valentines Day. Make sure and view updates for the next few weeks prior to the big day!

·          Take her out to a fancy dinner. call ahead early and ask for a special table

·          order flowers to be at the table when you arrive

·          Rent a limousine to pick her up at work or home.

·          Spend the night out of the house in a hotel or a bed and breakfast.  Order flowers to be in the room when  you arrive, ask for the Jacuzzi suite

·          Charter a boat, get one with a dinner cruise.

·          Pack or buy a picnic lunch and head to a secluded park.

·          Give her a gift certificate to go shopping and go with her.

·          Act interested for a couple of hours! It won't kill you.

·          Hand write a card or mushy note and secretly stick it in her purse before she leaves home.

·          Give her a gift certificate for a massage, facial, manicure, or haircut, drop off a card or flowers to be waiting when she gets there

To plan a little innocent fun, (NOT SEX), let your kids help you prepare and carry out playful surprises for your wife. It gives kids a wonderful sense of security to know that their parents care enough about each other to want to keep their relationship full of fun.

  1. Tell her what you really appreciate about her. Do it today!
  2. Love Coupon: This coupon entitles the holder to . . . flowers! Your choice: One dozen of any kind of flower. Flowers to be delivered within three days of issuance of coupon.
  3. Ask her for a lock of her hair to carry in your wallet. (Yes, it may seem stupid, but she will love it!)
  4. Give her a foot massage with scented lotion. (Call it aroma therapy.) Remember the most important foot-rubbing rule—you have to work on each foot longer than 3 minutes.
  5. Give her a coupon good for one evening off while you watch the kids. Tell her to call up a couple of friends to meet somewhere for coffee or pie. She’s not to come home until they’ve talked their tongues tired.
  6. If you’ve got a cell phone, call her when you’re riding in the car and a sweet, gushy love song comes on the radio. Turn the music up and tell her she has to hear the words because they make you think of her. (Women LOVE that kind of stuff!)
  7. Speak tender, exciting words to your wife. Tell her that you're enchanted by her beautiful smile, captivated by her wonderful personality, wild about her kisses, proud of the diligent way she works so unselfishly to serve you and the children. Speak these words to her when they are totally unexpected. (Of course, you should also say them when they are expected.) However, the unexpected words will cause her heart to race fast, her adrenaline to pump, and sometimes even the tears to flow. Kind, encouraging words never fail to kindle the romance.
  8. Create a "perfect anniversary" (make sure it’s your wife's definition of perfect). You’ll need to begin working on it now. Don’t tell her about your plans until one month before your anniversary. (Anticipation is half the fun.) Put aside the money, line up a weekend sitter for the kids, make the reservations, think about special gifts, cards, flowers, balloons, favorite restaurants—the possibilities are limitless! Use your vivid imagination. Do it now!!
  9. Your wife is probably always asking what you want for gifts (birthday, Christmas, anniversary, Valentine’s Day.) The next time she asks, tell her all you want is a wedding photo of her in a frame so you can keep it on your desk at work. Believe me, it will thrill her!
  10. A Romantic Date! Here is one happy wife's story. Husbands try something like this and she is sure never to forget it.

One Monday evening, my husband asked me to find a babysitter for the following Friday night.  He informed me that he wanted to take me on a date. I have to admit, as his wife and as a mother, that my heart was truly touched.  I was excited all week and very much looking forward to an evening alone with my husband.  Periodically, I would ask him questions about his intentions for the night.  He would answer, “You’ll see.”

On Thursday, he gave me a gentle reminder about our date (as if I would forget), raising my curiosity even higher.  But I decided to be patient, as it was well worth the wait!  Friday finally came and when I got home from my part-time job, I walked in the house to discover a beautiful bouquet of flowers. He had picked these flowers one by one and created his own arrangement with my favorite colors.  On the inside of the card, it read: “Dear Lisa, there are five ways that I want to show you how much I love you. This is#1.  Love, Dale.”  Needless to say, I was thrilled and wondering about what the other four would be.

I left to pick up our children, and when I came back I saw gifts #2 and #3 on our kitchen table.  Gift of love #2 was a card.  On the outside it read, “Top ten reasons to be in love with you.”  On the inside he had written a very special message and signed it, “Love, Your husband, Dale.”  Gift #3 was a beautiful X & O bracelet (which means “love, kisses, and hugs”).

I could see that my husband had given careful thought to all of this, and had spent his day making it all so special for me.  I still didn’t know what gifts of love #4 and #5 were until I walked into our bedroom.  Gift of love #4 was a black negligee with two lovely scented candles on each side.  I can’t begin to explain what I felt like—a little girl still in school.  I was thrilled!

So I called my husband to thank him and let him know how special he had made my day.  I told Dale that I could probably guess what his #5 gift of love would be, but since the children were present, I had to be discreet.

All in all, I received a lot more than five gifts of love.  My husband took me out to dinner at the same restaurant where we ate on our first date. Then we went to the same place after dinner that we had gone on our first date.  After that, we drove around town and stopped to talk about our lives and how our love has really deepened and matured for each other and for God.

We left our house to begin our special date around 6 PM and did not return home until about midnight. I must have talked for about two hours of that time, but it was so important for my husband to listen to me. When we finally came home, Dale asked me to pick out a special music tape. I tried two tapes and they just didn’t seem to be what I was looking for. Then, he found the perfect one and began to hold me close and dance with me. By that time, of course, I had my new negligee on. And then, well,…the rest is history. I won’t tell any more except for this—we didn’t celebrate any special occasion that day, but we will always treasure it in our hearts.  After all, I received a lot more than gifts of love. Now, I’ve learned to always expect the unexpected, to be patient, and to never take my husband for granted.  He is indeed the love of my life!

Here is a summary of what he did:

11.    He asked for a date ahead of time.

12.    He created some mystery by not giving her all the answers as to what they would do on the date.

13.    He picked his own flowers and arranged them himself.

14.    He wrote her a card affirming her positive qualities.

15.    He revisited some relationship traditions. If you don't have any relationhsip traditions, begin some now.

16.    He danced with her in private though he was not much of a public dancer.

Give it a try guys!!!!

17.    Romantic gift ideas

Guys! Here are some terrific ideas for romantic Christmas gifts and even where to find them. Unfortunately I don't get a commission.

Buy it now, don't delay.

Grand Gourmet Gift Basket - A sophisticated but generous gift of gourmet favorites.   Tell me more...

Body Massage Gift Set - Learn how to give an expert massage! Everything you need to get started, including guide book, massage oil, essential oils, tea lights, and CD of soothing music.   Tell me more...

Memories Photo Album - Save those special photographs in this album richly illustrated with Victorian traditions. 31 die-cut photoframes.   Tell me more...

Kama Sutra Gift Tin - An intoxicating collection of Kama Sutra's best products -- massage oils, creams, balm, and honey dust -- in an 'Earthly Delights' gift tin.   Tell me more...

Do Not Disturb Kit - Going away for the weekend...or longer? Don't leave without this sensual kit for two!   Tell me more...

Love Birds Art Print - Personalize this art print of two 'love birds' with your names -- or initials -- and a date! A unique way to say 'I love you!'   Tell me more...

Flourless Chocolate Torte - A flourless chocolate torte that's not only romantic, it's also sinfully rich! Trust us, it's to die for...Tell me more... 

My Heart Love Token - A romantic admission of love! This romantic token says 'My heart belongs to thee.'   Tell me more...

18.    We are providing some great places to find romantic tips on the Internet. Just click on the following links (I do not endorse the content of all of these sites, though I have viewed them all. Take what is useful.):

Romantic Ideas -

Auto Romantic -

Loving You -

Romance 101 -

Romantic Letters -

Romantic Wizard -

19.    Write her a note: "Time and time again you amaze me because . . ."

20.    Write a love poem—and compose one new stanza every week for this next year. It will be a poem she will never forget.

21.    Make a little loving gesture every day for a solid year. Don’t let her know that you are doing it!

22.    Give her a dozen roses on New Year’s day. Each rose is a commitment to be a more romantic husband each month in the new year.

23.    Have silly pictures of the two of you taken in a photo booth and post it on the refrigerator for a year.

24.    Plan a special trip for this year. Start planning now. Travel in a train's sleeper car. Enjoy the time together. Sleeper cars can be a very romantic way to see part of the country you are interested in.

25.    Women enjoy extended kissing. Pick one day this week and kiss her like you first kissed her before it became routine. Make sure there is no other motive than for her enjoyment. Kiss her in the morning, kiss her at noon (if it can be arranged), and kiss her at night, like you really mean it! 

26.    Identify one bad habit that you know she would be delighted to see you change. Come up with a practical plan to change this habit. Behavioral psychologists tell us it takes 40 days of practice to break a bad habit. Get started today. 

27.    Blindfold her and take her to a new restaurant. The darkness only increases the romantic nature of the outing. 

28.    Keep a wedding photo and an up-to-date photo of your wife on your desk at work. 

29.    Ask your wife for a list of her favorite romantic restaurants. I have found my wife’s list differs greatly from mine. She doesn’t appreciate the fish camp down on the river. 

30.    Attend a $1.00 movie, sit in the very last row, and discreetly make out in the dark.


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