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Parents: Earn the Right to be Heard

By Dr. Don and Debbi Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
Don’t miss the prime opportunities that occur each day to teach your children about Christ!

Family Counseling Ministries -

As we seek to discipline our children biblically, we find that opportunities occur throughout the day to speak to our children about the Lord. We should seize these opportunities enthusiastically. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is a key passage of scripture for godly parenting.

We should try to weave the Lord Jesus into as many parts of our children’s days as we possibly can.

Men and women who desire to honor God as they discipline their children should study these verses carefully,

And these words that I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your sons, [and daughters] and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.


Efforts to teach our children the truths of God’s Word should permeate every aspect of our family life. We must seize the natural teaching opportunities that these verses describe, as they occur throughout the course of the day.


God is pleased when children obey their parents.

The second deception that people often believe about parenting is that parents should never challenge the will of a child. The biblical truth, conversely, is that a child’s will, must be subjected to his or her parents’ will. The fifth commandment promises a reward for children who obey their parents: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged.” We read in Proverbs 6:23,

For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life.

Parents should understand that they must earn the right to be “heard” by their children. Parents accomplish this by living consistent Christian lives before them. They must not attempt to teach their children biblical principles unless they have made a commitment to live by them as well.

Telling our children, “Do as I say and not as I do,” is an unbiblical parenting technique.


Many of us grew up with the verbal admonition, “Do as I say, not as I do.” This, however, is an unscriptural method of child training. God calls mothers and fathers to be godly role models to their children of obedience to the Lord.


According to 2 Corinthians 3:2, we are living epistles. Our children are “reading” our lives. It is foolish to think that our children will respect our Christian testimonies if we are merely “talking the talk.” We should always be mindful of the truth that “Christianity is more caught than taught.” We must strive to walk in a manner worthy of our high calling in Christ Jesus.


Dr. Don Dunlap, a pioneer in the placement of Pastoral Counselors in the offices of Christian physicians, has conducted over twenty thousand appointments during his ministerial career. His counseling practice includes adults, children and families in crisis. Dr. Dunlap is committed to facilitating a network of telephone counselors. His goal is to provide help for the many people unable to meet face to face with a competent Bible-based counselor. For a complete library of Dr. Dunlap’s articles, indexed by topic, go to Family Counseling Ministries. You may also make an appointment for personal telephone counseling by clicking on Family Counseling Ministries. Family Counseling Ministries is a ministry Partner.

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