Are you opposed to the concept of spanking because youve seen spanking used abusively?
Family Counseling Ministries -
A child who is disciplined unbiblically usually modifies
his or her behavior enough to avoid more painful consequences, and then
resolves to do whatever he or she wants to do when the parent is not watching.
Thus, the improperly administered discipline serves to reinforce the childs
willfulness. In Article #18 of a 20-article series, Dr. Don Dunlap explores
some of the reasons why this rebellion occurs.
Many people react negatively to the concept of spanking
because they do not know of a single instance when the rod of reproof was
applied to an unruly child in a biblical manner.
Perhaps their parents spanked them in anger when they were
children, or they have friends and acquaintances who administer spankings
Spanking a child in anger will never lead him or her to
Even when parents follow biblical guidelines for spanking
their children, they must remember that God alone is able to bring a child to
genuine repentance. Although the rod of reproof accomplishes behavioral
changes, no parent has the ability to cause a child to repent of his or her
When a parent senses that a childs attitude remains
stubborn and defiant in the midst of discipline, he or she should cry out to
God in prayer, asking the Lord to do a work of grace in the childs heart while
he or she administers the rod of reproof. Regardless of how long it takes, a
parent should not consider his or her job done until the child demonstrates a
humble spirit. No task is more worthy of a parents time and energy.
When we sin against our children, we must be quick to admit it
and ask for forgiveness.
Children will react against the discipline of a parent who has
wronged them. The parent should evaluate his or her own heart when a child
refuses to repent. Has the parent accused the child falsely? Is the parent
guilty of demonstrating an attitude of anger, rather than love? Did the parent
attack the childs character instead of addressing his or her wrong behavior?
If so, the parent should ask the child for forgiveness for
sinning against him or her, before attempting to continue with any disciplinary
measures. We should never allow pride to prevent us from admitting to our
children when we are wrong. God resists the proud, but gives abundant grace to
parents who are willing to humble themselves before their children.
Parents should also forgive their children for any
offenses that they have committed against them. A parent must remember never
again to bring up the childs sin. Additionally, parents should not banish
their children from their presence by employing such popularly held parenting
techniques as making them go to their room, or giving them the silent
We are representatives of Gods love and forgiveness to
our children. God never throws our past sins up to us, and He never abandons us
when He disciplines us. Instead, He comforts and encourages us with His
As loving parents, we want to make obedience attractive to
our children. We should ask God for the strength and wisdom to help our
children desire to obey their parents and the Lord Jesus Christ.