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For Children Only: A Child’s Personal Checklist

By Dr. Don Dunlap
Pastoral Counselor
Review a self-evaluation checklist of offenses that children commit against their parents.

Family Counseling Ministries -

Are you interested in a tool that would help you mend a broken relationship with your parents? In this checklist Dr. Dunlap urges children who find it hard to identify specific ways that they offend their parents to read through this list carefully and prayerfully.

Listed below are some of the offenses that children typically commit against their parents. As you read through this list you may wish to check any of these offenses that apply to you.

___ 1.   Saying “no” to parents

___ 2.   Interrupting parent and adult conversations

___ 3.   Complaining about instructions given

___ 4.   Delayed obedience (i.e. waiting to obey, talking to procrastinate obedience)

___ 5.   Arguing/explaining against doing something

___ 6.   Complaining about food, shoes, clothes, etc. / general ungratefulness

___ 7.   Comparing parents

___ 8.   Talking back to parents.

___ 9.   Rolling eyes at parents.

___ 10. Devaluing parents by talking about them negatively to others.

___ 11. Doing a job half-heartedly just to get through

___ 12. Manipulating to get your way

___ 13. Lying

___ 14. Half-truths/deception

___ 15. Not calling when you’re going to be late coming home

___ 16. Doing anything you know your parents disapprove of

___ 17. Stealing/non-approved borrowing

___ 18. Yelling/talking rudely to parents

___ 19. Stating “you never” or “you always”

___ 20. Misusing furniture (including slamming doors, hitting walls, throwing things, etc.)

___ 21. Pouting

___ 22. Neglecting duties

___ 23. Not showing appreciation

___ 24. Not receiving instruction/correction – being unteachable (pride)

___ 25. Getting out of bed for inappropriate reasons to delay obedience in sleeping

___ 26. Making long-distance phone calls without permission

___ 27. Doing anything illegal in the house

___ 28. Having guests/phone calls past bedtime hours

___ 29. Begging

___ 30. Not taking care of room, toys, clothes (stewardship)

___ 31. Misquoting  parents to siblings

___ 32. Not serving with a good attitude

___ 33. Always having to be asked/told to do something

___ 34. Leaving areas of the house messy

___ 35. Asking the same question repeatedly after an answer has been given

___ 36. Playing tricks on your parents

___ 37. Ignoring parents

___ 38. Not giving parents your total attention when they are talking to you

___ 39. Not responding when called/ slow response

___ 40. Not taking care of elderly parents

___ 41. Playing/manipulating one parent against the other

___ 42. Trying to get out of punishment/not accepting discipline with right attitude

___ 43. Whining

___ 44. Not being understanding during physical illness

___ 45. Demanding attention/demanding anything


Now go back and write out each offense expanding specifically on each one. Then, sit down with your parents and ask them to forgive you for every offense. This is one of the most important projects to restoring and strengthening a relationship with your parents. Give it your best effort. They will be able to sense any insincerity.


As children read through these items they should keep in mind that the purpose of this list is to begin the process of repentance, reconciliation and restoration.



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