Discover the God-created differences between men and women, and how that impacts your marriage.
Family Counseling Ministries -
A key strategy for overcoming anger toward a marriage
partner is to learn the God-created differences between men and women. In
Article #5 of this series we learned that women tend to be more subjective than
men as they process the many details and situations of their lives.
Logic, on the other hand, typifies the husbands thinking
style. He generally studies the evidence at hand, and then step-by-step, in an
orderly fashion, he reaches a conclusion.
Women are also usually more intuitive than men. Relying on
instinct and emotion, a wife often knows without knowing how she knows. When
she tells her husband, for example, I feel that youve changed towards me. You
havent told me you love me lately, he responds with,
What do you mean? Of course I love you. You see how hard I
work for our family and you know Im faithful to our marriage vows.
While she seeks emotional affirmation and reassurance, in
his way of thinking the facts should speak for themselves.
Most men focus on the workplace and the world. This is
where the action is for them. They are constantly searching for new challenges
and pursuing ways to expand their horizons. By the grace of God, these
interests and motivations enable them to fulfill their roles as protectors and
providers. Traditionally, wives have regarded the home as extensions of
themselves. A womans desire to make her home a warm, nurturing place, and to
reign graciously as queen of that domain, is a biblical goal. According to
Scripture, a woman is to look to her husband as the leader and decision-maker
in the home.
A woman learns to rely on the decisions of her husband by
trusting in the sovereignty of God. She learns obedience to her Heavenly Father
by committing the outcome of her husbands leadership to the will of a faithful
and merciful God. When a woman has absolute confidence in Gods plans and
purposes, she is able to face even the most challenging situations, and act
with wisdom and maturity.
However, when a woman relies upon her husband because she
feels insecure and inadequate, the dignity of both the husband and the wife are
diminished. A woman who places her confidence in God knows that He will empower
her to be the kind of woman described in Proverbs 31 and Titus 2. Only by faith
in the power of God can a woman find fulfillment in her role as a helpmate.
A woman who wants to meets the needs of her husband, and
who wants to be regarded as an integral part of his life, must first seek her
identity in Christ and understand her worth in Him. A man who longs to be
effective in meeting his wifes needs, and who wants to fulfill his role as the
protector and provider, can only do so by acknowledging that Gods strength is
made perfect in our weakness.
When marriage partners recognize their identities in
Christ, they are able to fulfill their roles as husbands and wives. Only then
are they able to deal constructively with anger.