Following biblical guidelines helps parents discipline their children more effectively.
Family Counseling Ministries -
In the 19th article of a 20-part child
discipline series, Dr. Dunlap discusses seven biblical guidelines that help
parents discipline more effectively. He urges them to use a neutral object for
correction, to comfort children after disciplining them, to be united in their
disciplinary methods, not to be manipulated by childrens tears, not to make
threats they cant or wont carry out, not to bribe children with rewards for
good behavior, and to lead children to make necessary restitution.
Parents who desire to discipline their children biblically
should be aware of several guidelines that, if heeded, will help them
discipline more effectively.
a neutral object for correction.
The value of using a neutral object, such as a wooden
dowel or paddle, rather than your hand or your belt, is that a young child
usually associates pain with whatever inflicts it. Your hands are a part of
you, and your belt is an extension of yourself. Children should never fear
their parents hands. Use your hands to love and comfort your children. A
neutral object also communicates the fact that the discipline is from God, as well
as from the parents.
allow your childs tears to manipulate you.
There is an acceptable way for children to cry when they
are being disciplined. Do not permit a child to scream, yell, jump up and down,
or display an angry countenance while you are spanking him or her. Do not allow
the child to sob loudly, or for a prolonged period of time. If the child cries,
give the child sufficient time to get his or her emotions under control and
then tell the child to calm down or expect to receive further discipline. Then
be as good as your word.
Furthermore a child should not determine the severity of the
spanking. By this, I mean that he or she should not tell the parent, for
instance, One lick is enough. Neither should the child be allowed to sulk or
pout after he or she has been spanked. The parent should require the child to
have a compliant attitude throughout the course of the disciplinary encounter.
your child after you discipline him or her.
After you have administered a spanking, reassure your
child of your love for him or her with appropriate physical affection. The
parent that administers the discipline must be the one who comforts the child
afterward. The child ought to feel loved and accepted by the parent, even in
the midst of the disciplinary process. Dont attack the child personally, or
withdraw your fellowship from him or her.
Dont banish the child from your presence, or communicate
disgust at his or her behavior. Deal lovingly and firmly with the sin that the
child has committed and then affirm him or her.
must be united in their disciplinary methods.
Children are generally very sensitive to their parents
emotional state. If a child senses that his or her parents are not of one heart
and one mind on an issue, he or she will seek to play both ends against the
middle. Gods Word assures us that no one can serve two masters. He or she
will despise one and love the other.
Parents must be in full agreement as to what misbehavior
they will correct and what methods of discipline they will employ.