God commands us to speak the truth in love to one another, but there are limitations on speech.
Family Counseling Ministries -
Wives often mistakenly believe that they have a God-given
right to express any thought or feeling they may have to their husbands. Many
women seem to pride themselves on speaking their minds to their mates. There
are, however, limitations on speech within the marriage relationship. Love
draws the boundaries. God commands us to speak the truth in love to one
another. When a wife speaks to her husband, she should season her speech with
graciousness and kindness.
A wife must remember that she is not her husbands mother. God
does not call wives to admonish their husbands every time they stumble.
The fifth way in which a wife harms her marriage is to
verbally correct her husband every time she thinks he is wrong. Some women
believe it is their responsibility to rebuke their husbands every time they
make a mistake. A woman who has been guilty of complaining or nagging should
repent in genuine humility before her husband and before the Lord.
She should also consider the warning found in Matthew
Why do you look at the speck that is in your brothers eye,
but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your
brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, and behold, the log is in
your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then
you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers eye.
A wife should regularly examine her attitudes toward her
husband. These questions may be a good starting point.
Women, who desire to learn to speak truth to their
husbands in a godly, encouraging way, may find the following checklist helpful.
Am I willing to have my husband address the weaknesses in my
Do I regularly invite my husband to tell me the things that I
do to frustrate or irritate him? _____
Am I readily willing to admit my own weaknesses? _____
Do I consistently try to identify my blind spots and am I
committed to working on them? _____
Do I have a genuine love for my husband? _____
Do I have an independent spirit, always wanting my own way?
Do I have a condemning spirit? _____
Do I have an ungrateful spirit for what he has done for the
children and me? _____
Do I have a bitter spirit because of unforgiveness? _____
Do I have a frustrated spirit because of impatience? _____
Do I have a servants heart? Am I willing to lay my life down
for my husband? _____
If a wife wants to earn the right to speak truth to her
husband, she must be willing to hear his input regarding her life, and humbly
act on it.
A wife who has been guilty of nagging and criticizing her
husband should make a forty-day commitment to completely refrain from
critiquing her husband in any way. This will help her significantly to break
the bad habit of nagging. During this period, she should regularly ask her
husband to share with her anything that he would change about her life if he
had the power to do so.
The most important thing that she can do during this time
is to memorize the biblical principles of appeal and the related scripture
verses. A wifes input in her husbands life is vitally important, but her goal
must be to learn to speak the truth in love to him.