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Money And Your Marriage--Blessing or Curse?

By Dr. H. Norman Wright
Counselor/ Therapist
The number-one conflict during the first year of marriage is money.

H. Norman Wright -

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
1 Timothy 6:10

The number-one conflict during the first year of marriage is money. Some of your biggest disagreements may be about money, but they do not have to be. Why does this happen? We all have different spending and saving styles. This is a reflection of our personalities.

Did you realize that money can be a weapon of independence? It can be the reason for arguments about responsibility and judgment. It can be used as a source of power and control. Money not only buys clothes, cars, computers and stocks, but it can also buy power. Money can be a reflection of one’s self-worth. Spending can be a way to help yourself feel good, to get your partner’s attention or to get back at him or her!

We all need money. Prices climb and the paycheck shrinks. The battle gets especially rough as you take on the payments of a home, car and then kids. How will you save for a college education when tuition at many schools can cost as much as $12,000 to $16,000 a year? How will you pay off your own school loans or credit cards? How do you continue to pay the bills when the expenses are too high? It is a struggle for all of us.

Some people have a different kind of problem with money—they love it. It becomes the reason for their existence, the source of their ambitions, their goal in life. Money is their god.

What part does money play in your life? Think about the following questions:

• What percentage of the day do you spend worrying about money?

• Do you spend more time thinking or worrying about money than you spend praying each day?

• When you are feeling down, discouraged or hurt, do you jump in the car and go on a shopping spree to help make you feel better?

• Do you wish your partner were more frugal, or would spend more?

• Do you have a specific plan for how much money you can spend each month when you are married?

• Who will be responsible for handling the money after you are married?

• Does the value you attach to yourself as a person fluctuate in accordance with the fluctuation of your net worth?

• To what extent has money been the source of arguments between you and other family members in your family of origin?

• If you listed all your canceled checks, what message would they tell about the place money has in your life?

• In the home you are leaving, to what extent have you operated on a well-defined budget that the entire family is aware of and has some voice in creating?

• To what extent do you have a plan to handle extra money that comes in unexpectedly? (That does happen, you know.)

• To what extent will you and your partner pray about money and the direction God wants you to take in using it for His kingdom and glory?

Think about these questions and develop some answers with your future partner.

H. Norman Wright is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Therapist. He was formerly Director of the Graduate Department of Marriage, Family and Child Counseling at Biola University as well as an Associate Professor of Psychology. He has taught graduate school for over twenty-five years at Talbot School of Theology and the Graduate Department of Marriage and Family Counseling at Biola University  Dr. Wright is the founder and director of Christian Marriage Enrichment, a national organization designed to train ministers and lay leaders in counseling and enrichment.

Excerpted by permission from Starting Out Together: A Devotional for Dating Or Engaged Couples by H. Norman Wright (Regal Books), 115-116. To purchase the product follow this link.

Visit Dr. H. Norman Wright's site. 

Dr. H. Norman Wright is a graduate of Westmont College (B.A. Christian Education), Fuller Theological Seminary (M.R.E.), and Pepperdine University (M.A. in Clinical Psychology) and has received honorary doctorates D.D. and D.Litt. from Western Conservative Baptist Seminary and Biola University respectively. He has pioneered premarital counseling programs throughout the country. Dr. Wright is the author of over 65 books—including the best-selling Always Daddy’s Girl and Quiet Times for Couples. He and his wife, Joyce, have a married daughter, Sheryl, and a son, Matthew, who was profoundly retarded and is now deceased. The Wrights make their home in Southern California.


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Bible Verse for November 16

To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Colossians 1:27

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

By Harold J. Sala, Ph.D.
A reflection for November 15th from Tomorrow Starts Today!

By Dr. H. Norman Wright
Counselor/ Therapist
The number-one conflict during the first year of marriage is money.

Answers for your life from God's Word!

Click on this picture link for Scriptural answers for life’s Problems!


Guest articles for your edification!




"Under Siege"

 "Providence of God"



"Salvation & Baptism"

"Satan & Anti Christ"


"The Good Fight"



God…Please Help!!




Adversity  Anger   




Emotional Restoration

Encouragement  Fear   

Financial Responsibility   

Forgiveness  Goals   

Guilt   Inner Strength

Listening to God   



Protecting Your Family   

Rejection    Reliance   

Security    Serving   

Talking With God   



God’s Promises for You!!



Ambition   Anger  

Assurance  Belief   

Business  Children 







Despair  Discipline



Doubt  Envy   

Eternity  Failure   

Faith  Faithfulness

Family  Fear   

Fear of Death   


Finding His Will   

Flexibility  Forgiveness

Fulfillment  Gossip   

Grace    Grief   

Guidance  Guilt  

Honesty   Hope   


Identity in Christ  

Integrity   Jealousy

Joy    Judgment   

Laziness   Leadership

Loneliness   Love   

Lying   Marriage   

Marital Problems   

Mercy    Money   



Patience    Peace


Power    Praise  

Prayer    Pride


Purpose  Rebellion





Security    Sex  

Sin  Singleness 



Spiritual Growth  

Stability  Strength

Stress  Success   


Troubled Times  


Unsaved Loved Ones

Waiting on God   

Wisdom    Worry



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